Despite the prestige and perceived glamour,
is the CEO—or anyone in a leadership role—lonely at the top?
Never Worry Alone
Having a confidant is a vital relationship that leaders need in some form. Robert Waldinger, MD, the current director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development (discussed in The Pinball Theory of Business & Life), offers a compelling insight for leaders – and all of us:
Human connection is our superpower. Good relationships help us overcome life’s inevitable challenges and make us happier and healthier. Never worry alone.
Testing, Testing
Musicians doing a sound check before a performance rely on someone at the back of the hall to listen and ensure the sound is right. Similarly, do we have someone to help with our sound check—our reality check?
Most of us need someone who helps us stay real. Is there a person in your life with whom you don’t have to pretend that your business and your world are “Fantastic!”? Someone who listens without rushing to give advice, fix you, or patronize you? Someone, especially within your organization, who dares to say “No” when it matters? In sizing up a confidant, ask yourself:
- Are they there just for me?
- Do they have a hidden agenda?
- Can they listen without immediately telling me what to do?
- Can I fully drop my guard and share whatever is on my mind?
- If I ask for suggestions, do they have practical, real-world insight?
Even if we have such a person, we might hesitate to call on them, fearing it shows weakness. Talk to them anyway.
Out Loud
There is immense power in saying things aloud—getting issues, worries, ideas, and dreams out of your head and into the open with someone you trust. If securing a personal confidant isn’t workable, consider a professional: executive coach, advisor, psychologist, psychiatrist, spiritual guide—whoever fits your needs.
However, you approach it, talking to someone you trust can be transformative—lifting burdens and helping you and your company move forward.
Place and Mood Matter
Give these encounters the priority and respect they deserve. Even with the busiest of schedules, create an unhurried visit in the right environment—one that allows both of you to focus and fully engage.
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Interactions with a confidant can be among the most valuable things you do for yourself and your organization.
